I believe that Jesus lived for us, died for us, rose for us and is alive right now for us. I believe it with all my heart, more than ever, and He is my only hope. I am alive because He is alive. He has never been anything but good towards me. I will celebrate His victory over death and suffering and sin and despair and failure and disease and lies and hate and resentment and greed and all darkness.
I will celebrate in grief for what it cost Him to redeem me and you. I will celebrate in joy because I know he conquered everything, there is nothing left to fear. I will laugh because His love is as full today as it was on the cross, as it was at creation, as it is in eternity.
Let's dance and sing and pray and cry and reach out our hands and hearts to all because nothing can alter what he finished.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Alternate Ending
So here is the alternate ending to the car story, since most of you have figured out by now that the first ending wasn't exactly how it happened. But sometimes it is hard to seperate reality from a glorious daydream.
After it became obvious to me that my car was beyond my abilities to heal, that it was still pouring down rain, that my son was very tired and embarassed about the quality time we were having together, I succumbed to the despairing truth and called a tow truck and had it towed to a garage. The next morning they called and said the starter had given it up and it would be several hundred dollars to repair. Since I have a really good relationship with the mechanic, (after all, I have put his kids through college) he asked me if I wanted to fix it or just sign the title over to him so that he could harvest the few remaining decent parts. Since I had no real choice and I knew he was having way to much fun at my expense, I told him to go ahead and put a starter in it. Then he said, "And oh, by the way, do you know someone put the wrong serpentine belt on it?"
There it was, the ancient serpentine belt, the slithering, insidious, unending rubber demon from the automobile version of Sheol that had reared its nasty head again. It seems that the parts store had sold me the wrong one to begin with and I had spent all the previous day installing it. I know there is irony in there somewhere, but I am not really looking for it.
So, I am back in the Taurus.....whose sign has something to do with a "Bull." Now I am finally understanding why.
After it became obvious to me that my car was beyond my abilities to heal, that it was still pouring down rain, that my son was very tired and embarassed about the quality time we were having together, I succumbed to the despairing truth and called a tow truck and had it towed to a garage. The next morning they called and said the starter had given it up and it would be several hundred dollars to repair. Since I have a really good relationship with the mechanic, (after all, I have put his kids through college) he asked me if I wanted to fix it or just sign the title over to him so that he could harvest the few remaining decent parts. Since I had no real choice and I knew he was having way to much fun at my expense, I told him to go ahead and put a starter in it. Then he said, "And oh, by the way, do you know someone put the wrong serpentine belt on it?"
There it was, the ancient serpentine belt, the slithering, insidious, unending rubber demon from the automobile version of Sheol that had reared its nasty head again. It seems that the parts store had sold me the wrong one to begin with and I had spent all the previous day installing it. I know there is irony in there somewhere, but I am not really looking for it.
So, I am back in the Taurus.....whose sign has something to do with a "Bull." Now I am finally understanding why.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Kum Ba Ya
Yesterday was an interesting day to say the least. Because of the rain I could not roof, so I decided to try and blog some. So I wrote some things yesterday morning and just as I was finishing it up blogger had technical difficulties and everything I had written was lost. Little did I know that it was an omen.
After a while it quit raining, so I decided to work on my car, since it had died in our son's high school parking lot. Once I checked it out I saw that the Serpentine belt had come off. Another omen, if the word serpentine pops up in your day, be very careful. Knowing that they do not just come off, I also found that the tension pulley had siezed up. So, after two trips to the Auto parts store, renting a special tool, losing that special tool somewhere in the engine compartment, finding it an hour later, trying to squeeze my arm into a hole an anorexic mouse couldn't get into and losing enough knuckle skin to replinish a burn center, along with three hours of bending over and trying to figure out what I was doing, I managed to fix the old car and save myself the half hour of labor costs that I would have paid a real mechanic to fix it. But, after months of futility in all my other endeavors, I had actualy accomplished something! I felt good!
I drove to the grocery store and came out to find that it was pouring down rain. I sat in my car and thanked God that he held the rain back long enough for me to fix my car. Then I turned the key and.....nothing. I tried several times, nothing. Just a few flickering dash lights signalling that I was a moron for owning this car. So, knowing that the battery was pretty old, I called my son, who fortunately drives a toyota, to come and get me and take me to get a battery. He was very happy to do that after school for his Father. By now I am soaked from changing the battery in the rain. And, also I am learning that people are not sure what to do for you when you are in a parking lot having car trouble. My experience is that some people, on dry, sunny days, will ask if they can help sometimes. But if you drive a ford, look like you have been working on it for hours already, and it is pouring down rain the chances of someone offering to jump your car is remote at best.
After putting in the new battery I turned the key and.....nothing! The dash lights flickered again, this time signalling the words "stupid moron." So, I took the battery out, put the old one in, returned the new one to the store, got my money back and returned to the grocery store parking lot where I went in, bought some hot dogs and lighter fluid, went out, "started" my car and warmed up and roasted wieners over the huge funeral pyre that used to be a Ford Taurus. Soon, an interesting thing happened. People began to gather, bringing tupperware dishes full of cole slaw, potato salad, baked beans, brownies. They all drove up in Fords, actually drove "in" to the raging fire and scurried out of their cars laughing hysterically as their car suddenly erupted in flames. We ate our soggy hot dogs and held hands and sang Kum Ba Ya, which means "Come By Here, Lord" and was written by desperate Ford owners who were always stranded by the side of the road, or in parking lots, waiting, just waiting for a miracle.
So that was my day, how was yours?
After a while it quit raining, so I decided to work on my car, since it had died in our son's high school parking lot. Once I checked it out I saw that the Serpentine belt had come off. Another omen, if the word serpentine pops up in your day, be very careful. Knowing that they do not just come off, I also found that the tension pulley had siezed up. So, after two trips to the Auto parts store, renting a special tool, losing that special tool somewhere in the engine compartment, finding it an hour later, trying to squeeze my arm into a hole an anorexic mouse couldn't get into and losing enough knuckle skin to replinish a burn center, along with three hours of bending over and trying to figure out what I was doing, I managed to fix the old car and save myself the half hour of labor costs that I would have paid a real mechanic to fix it. But, after months of futility in all my other endeavors, I had actualy accomplished something! I felt good!
I drove to the grocery store and came out to find that it was pouring down rain. I sat in my car and thanked God that he held the rain back long enough for me to fix my car. Then I turned the key and.....nothing. I tried several times, nothing. Just a few flickering dash lights signalling that I was a moron for owning this car. So, knowing that the battery was pretty old, I called my son, who fortunately drives a toyota, to come and get me and take me to get a battery. He was very happy to do that after school for his Father. By now I am soaked from changing the battery in the rain. And, also I am learning that people are not sure what to do for you when you are in a parking lot having car trouble. My experience is that some people, on dry, sunny days, will ask if they can help sometimes. But if you drive a ford, look like you have been working on it for hours already, and it is pouring down rain the chances of someone offering to jump your car is remote at best.
After putting in the new battery I turned the key and.....nothing! The dash lights flickered again, this time signalling the words "stupid moron." So, I took the battery out, put the old one in, returned the new one to the store, got my money back and returned to the grocery store parking lot where I went in, bought some hot dogs and lighter fluid, went out, "started" my car and warmed up and roasted wieners over the huge funeral pyre that used to be a Ford Taurus. Soon, an interesting thing happened. People began to gather, bringing tupperware dishes full of cole slaw, potato salad, baked beans, brownies. They all drove up in Fords, actually drove "in" to the raging fire and scurried out of their cars laughing hysterically as their car suddenly erupted in flames. We ate our soggy hot dogs and held hands and sang Kum Ba Ya, which means "Come By Here, Lord" and was written by desperate Ford owners who were always stranded by the side of the road, or in parking lots, waiting, just waiting for a miracle.
So that was my day, how was yours?
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Happy 21st Birthday, Brandon!
Finally, the first shall be last! Today is Brandon's birthday, our firstborn. Our four kids all celebrate their birthdays usually within the Lenten period which also more or less encompasses March Madness. There is probably something significant about that but I have no clue as to what it is.
As I already mentioned, you were our introduction to parenthood. It really is a miracle that you have any siblings! But, after you, we figured it had to be easier. We certainly received a education from you, lessons that were applied to the raising of your sister and brothers. So, this birthday tribute is all about what I learned from my first born son.
First, tiny babies fake sleeping. You always had to cry before you could go to sleep at night, which I interpreted to mean that you were being strangled by a raccoon that somehow had got into your room or had your little head stuck between the crib rails or were starving to death or drowning in your own pee. So, after an eternity of 94 seconds I would go into your room and pat your bottom and you would lay your head down and after an eternity of 36 hours you would drift off to sleep. I would slow down the velocity and reduce the psi of the bottom patting until I could eventually stop. Then I would drop gently to my hands and knees so you couldn't see me, lay on the floor until I could hear a rhythm in your little breaths, then slowly crawl to the door, turn the knob ever so slowly and open it. And your head always popped up at the same point in this exercise in futility-right when I started to close the door! So I learned something valuable about helping babies go to sleep that I was able to apply to the others. Buy a bigger house and put the baby's room at the far end of the upstairs! You taught me that Bubba!
Second, Brandon, you taught me about finances, taxes, net worth and insurance. See, once you have a child you get to claim them as an exemption with the IRS because you no longer really own anything and what you think you own they quickly destroy, thus the term "tax break." But somehow, in the middle of the depreciation occurring to your belongings because they have been lost, stolen, buried, painted, sold, eaten or given to strange children on your street you learn to "appreciate" the little perpetual tornado that has done all the damage! Yes, you worry some when the excuses start to make sense, but again, you learn something very valuable.
That is, own nothing valuable! By the way, you still have some of my CD's and my shotgun.
Third, you proved that theory of Newton, or Einstein or Buffet to be true, the one about a body in motion stays in motion until it is wrapped tightly in duct tape. You took your first step at eight months. And then you ran, everywhere, all the time. You ran into a lot of things along the way of course. Sometimes I tried to warn you. Remember the time you were riding your bike around the pool dressed in your nicest church clothes? Remember what I said would happen if you didn't slow down? Remember how you told me that you were too good at riding your bike to end up in the bottom of the pool? Remember us being late for church that day?
Fourth, you taught us as parents that we should always probably listen to our kids, no matter how many times we have heard it before or how unbelievable the story is. In fact, with you, Brandon, we learned that the more crazy or wild the story the more probable it was true. For example that whole broken arm thing....Do you have any idea how many times a day you were either bleeding to death or unconscious for a short period or had dislocated some appendage? So when you told us you had broken your arm on the trampoline you can certainly understand our panic, the way we yawned and said "uh huh, okay, that's fine, Bubba, go on and play." And, later that day you were swimming pretty good anyway when that Orthopedic Doctor friend of ours noticed you and said something about your arm looking funny...See, from then on when our other children said they were hurt we listened carefully.
There are so many other lessons, too many to tell. It is only right that on your birthday, we should give you a big thank you for all we have learned! What success we have had as parents we owe to you! Of course, we also owe you for thousands of crazy smiles that always melted our hearts, hours of goofy laughter when we most needed it, adventurous schemes when life got a little predictable, comforting words of love in our darkest days, and an intense desire for God that challenges us. Most of all, in everything, we have always been able to look at you and be thankful and proud. You wore us out raising you, but it was a good tired. One we wouldn't trade for anything. And we know that what goes around comes around, so we look forward to payback with your firstborn!
So, Brandon, this ones for you! Happy 21st birthday! We really are amazed you made it. By the way, your Mom and I arranged it all along, after your first birthday, that somehow you should probably turn 21 on the Lord's day, at a conservative Christian college, in a dry county in the middle of Arkansas!
As I already mentioned, you were our introduction to parenthood. It really is a miracle that you have any siblings! But, after you, we figured it had to be easier. We certainly received a education from you, lessons that were applied to the raising of your sister and brothers. So, this birthday tribute is all about what I learned from my first born son.
First, tiny babies fake sleeping. You always had to cry before you could go to sleep at night, which I interpreted to mean that you were being strangled by a raccoon that somehow had got into your room or had your little head stuck between the crib rails or were starving to death or drowning in your own pee. So, after an eternity of 94 seconds I would go into your room and pat your bottom and you would lay your head down and after an eternity of 36 hours you would drift off to sleep. I would slow down the velocity and reduce the psi of the bottom patting until I could eventually stop. Then I would drop gently to my hands and knees so you couldn't see me, lay on the floor until I could hear a rhythm in your little breaths, then slowly crawl to the door, turn the knob ever so slowly and open it. And your head always popped up at the same point in this exercise in futility-right when I started to close the door! So I learned something valuable about helping babies go to sleep that I was able to apply to the others. Buy a bigger house and put the baby's room at the far end of the upstairs! You taught me that Bubba!
Second, Brandon, you taught me about finances, taxes, net worth and insurance. See, once you have a child you get to claim them as an exemption with the IRS because you no longer really own anything and what you think you own they quickly destroy, thus the term "tax break." But somehow, in the middle of the depreciation occurring to your belongings because they have been lost, stolen, buried, painted, sold, eaten or given to strange children on your street you learn to "appreciate" the little perpetual tornado that has done all the damage! Yes, you worry some when the excuses start to make sense, but again, you learn something very valuable.
That is, own nothing valuable! By the way, you still have some of my CD's and my shotgun.
Third, you proved that theory of Newton, or Einstein or Buffet to be true, the one about a body in motion stays in motion until it is wrapped tightly in duct tape. You took your first step at eight months. And then you ran, everywhere, all the time. You ran into a lot of things along the way of course. Sometimes I tried to warn you. Remember the time you were riding your bike around the pool dressed in your nicest church clothes? Remember what I said would happen if you didn't slow down? Remember how you told me that you were too good at riding your bike to end up in the bottom of the pool? Remember us being late for church that day?
Fourth, you taught us as parents that we should always probably listen to our kids, no matter how many times we have heard it before or how unbelievable the story is. In fact, with you, Brandon, we learned that the more crazy or wild the story the more probable it was true. For example that whole broken arm thing....Do you have any idea how many times a day you were either bleeding to death or unconscious for a short period or had dislocated some appendage? So when you told us you had broken your arm on the trampoline you can certainly understand our panic, the way we yawned and said "uh huh, okay, that's fine, Bubba, go on and play." And, later that day you were swimming pretty good anyway when that Orthopedic Doctor friend of ours noticed you and said something about your arm looking funny...See, from then on when our other children said they were hurt we listened carefully.
There are so many other lessons, too many to tell. It is only right that on your birthday, we should give you a big thank you for all we have learned! What success we have had as parents we owe to you! Of course, we also owe you for thousands of crazy smiles that always melted our hearts, hours of goofy laughter when we most needed it, adventurous schemes when life got a little predictable, comforting words of love in our darkest days, and an intense desire for God that challenges us. Most of all, in everything, we have always been able to look at you and be thankful and proud. You wore us out raising you, but it was a good tired. One we wouldn't trade for anything. And we know that what goes around comes around, so we look forward to payback with your firstborn!
So, Brandon, this ones for you! Happy 21st birthday! We really are amazed you made it. By the way, your Mom and I arranged it all along, after your first birthday, that somehow you should probably turn 21 on the Lord's day, at a conservative Christian college, in a dry county in the middle of Arkansas!
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